Black Knight starring in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Click here to watch the whole scene. Click here for a Star Wars version.

 

The entire Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Arthur: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
(Black Knight does not respond)
Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
(no response)
Arthur: I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me at my court at Camelot.
(no response)
Arthur: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
(no response)
Arthur: You make me sad. So be it! Come, Patsy! (As Arthur and Patsy start to ride past Black Knight, he suddenly speaks):
Black Knight: NONE SHALL PASS.
Arthur: (taken aback) What?
Black Knight: NONE SHALL PASS.
Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: THEN YOU SHALL DIE.
Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside.
Black Knight: I MOVE FOR NO MAN.
Arthur: So be it! (draws sword. A short battle ensues, where Arthur, relatively unencumbered by armor, easily dodges the slow and heavy strikes by Black Knight. Finally, Arthur dodges a strike, steps aside, and cuts Black Knight's left arm off with his sword. Blood spurts from Black Knight's open shoulder. )
Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
Arthur: A SCRATCH? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No it isn't!
Arthur: Well what's that then? (pointing to the arm lying on the ground)
Black Knight: I've had worse.
Arthur: You LIAR!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy! (There follows an even shorter foray, at the end of which Arthur easily cuts off Black Knight's right arm, causing it and Black Knight's sword to drop to the ground. Blood spatters freely from the stump.)
Arthur: Victory is mine! (kneeling, praying) We thank thee Lord, that in thy mercy, (he is kicked onto his side by Black Knight)
Black Knight: Come on, then! (kicks Arthur again)
Arthur: (on the ground) What?!?
Black Knight: (kicking him again) Have at you!
Arthur: (getting up) You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Black Knight: Ohhh, had enough, eh?
Arthur: Look, you stupid b*****d, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have!
Arthur: LOOK!!!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound! (kicking Arthur again)
Arthur: Look, STOP that!
Black Knight: Chicken!!! Chicken!!!!!!!
Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg! (Black Knight continues his kicking)
Arthur: RIGHT! (He chops off Black Knight's leg with his sword)
Black Knight: (hopping) Right! I'll do you for that!
Arthur: You'll WHAT?
Black Knight: Come 'ere!
Arthur: (tiring of this) What're you going to do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm INVINCIBLE!!!
Arthur: You're a looney.
Black Knight: The Black Knight ALWAYS TRIUMPHS! Have at you!! (hops around, trying to kick Arthur with his one remaining leg. Arthur shrugs his shoulders and, with a mighty swing, removes Black Knight's last limb. He falls to the ground. He looks about, realising he can't move)
Black Knight: OK, we'll call it a draw.
Arthur: Come, Pasty! (they "ride" away)
Black Knight: (calling after them) Oh! Had enough, eh? Come back and take what's coming to you, you yellow b*****ds!! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!